Thursday, May 2, 2013

Boundaries and Rules When Arguing With Your Spouse

I've always heard that it is healthy for couples to fight but I never really believed it. When I was younger, it seemed to me that people just said that so they could say mean things and yell at each other. Now that I am older and have experienced my fair share of failed relationships, I have learned to appreciate the necessary role that arguing has in any personal relationship. I still firmly believe that shouting loud hurtful things is the opposite of what's healthy in any relationship. Having said that, I also realize that holding in personal needs, frustrations and desires causes emotional roadblocks and will break down even the best relationships.
There is a compromise. 
When rules and boundaries are agreed on between two people in a relationship, disagreements and arguments can lead to a better understanding of the other person and what they need. A well communicated dispute can also lead to increased self confidence, internal peace and a deeper connection between two people.
A few important boundaries to follow when having an argument are:
  • Staying on topic
  • No name calling or character assassinations
  • Take turns talking
  • Say what you mean
  • Refrain from ultimatums
  • No emotional blackmail
  • Be honest without being cruel
When people share their lives and personal space with another person there are bound to be differences in ideas, opinions and expectations. When general rules are followed, arguments can bring a better understanding and respect for each others positions. When fights include loud and vicious verbal attacks the only result is hurt feelings and emotional resentment.

For a more detailed explanation of these boundaries click here:
Relationship Rules For Arguing