I've always heard that it is healthy for couples to fight but I never really believed it. When I was younger, it seemed to me that people just said that so they could say mean things and yell at each other. Now that I am older and have experienced my fair share of failed relationships, I have learned to appreciate the necessary role that arguing has in any personal relationship. I still firmly believe that shouting loud hurtful things is the opposite of what's healthy in any relationship. Having said that, I also realize that holding in personal needs, frustrations and desires causes emotional roadblocks and will break down even the best relationships.
There is a compromise.
When rules and boundaries are agreed on between two people in a relationship, disagreements and arguments can lead to a better understanding of the other person and what they need. A well communicated dispute can also lead to increased self confidence, internal peace and a deeper connection between two people.
A few important boundaries to follow when having an argument are:
- Staying on topic
- No name calling or character assassinations
- Take turns talking
- Say what you mean
- Refrain from ultimatums
- No emotional blackmail
- Be honest without being cruel
For a more detailed explanation of these boundaries click here:
Relationship Rules For Arguing